Don't worry, I'm not depressed or anything, I was just reading an email that said something about crying and all of a sudden there were lines in my head I just had to get down...some parts are kinda cheesy, it's just a rough, so bare with me...
Tears
Tears of joy, tears of fear,
tears of longing,
year after year.
When life has you down
and you're hurting inside,
let go and drown;
all that pain,
disappointment, and grief
are not all you contain.
Tears of old, tears of new,
tears of life,
my journey with you.
Sometimes it's too hard
to always be right,
we wind up scarred;
free your heart,
your mind, your soul, your self
make it all a new start.
Tears of struggle, tears that empower,
tears for strenth,
when things go sour.
This place can be cruel,
knocking you to your knees,
feeling a tool;
life goes on,
we wake up tomorrow,
to face the new dawn.
Tears for you, tears for me,
tears for the world,
set us all free.
Thursday, January 22, 2009
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
Yay school!
As of right now, I'm happy, I'm enjoying my classes, and I'm the 11th-ranked Starboard on the team! How much better can the beginning of January get? Oh yeah, it was also over 70 degrees yesterday.
This quarter I'm taking Spanish; IHUM Epic Journeys, Modern Quests; Introductory Seminar: Antigone; and Sleep & Dreams. So far my IHUM seems pretty cool, which is more than most people are saying about theirs. My intro sem is great, there are only five of us in the class and it's basically just a discussion on literature for two hours at a time! The two hour chunk of time actually goes quickly for me in this class which is incredible! The professor for Sleep & Dreams is the same man who discovered/invented REM sleep, but I am convinced that he is certifiably insane. Class is a hoot, he tells all these totally irrelevant stories and squirts people sleeping in class with squirt guns before giving them bonus points!
With sleep & dreams we have to do what is called a "sleep project" which is basically keeping track of when and how much you sleep, as well as how well and alert you feel at certain intervals during the day. I was already making a conscious effort to sleep eight hours every night beforehand because of crew, but this project has helped me realize how happy I am again now that I'm sleeping enough! I actually learned something from the crazy Dement!
I pulled my first 8k and my first test at all for Yaz on Friday afternoon (right before snow trip). It was painful and incredibly difficult, but it wasn't as terrible as I had expected. After each test, the rankings are redone by your finish and by your side [of the boat]. I am "bysweptual" meaning that I row both sides, so Yaz has now turned me into a Starboard for ranking purposes and I'm ranked 11th!
This quarter I'm taking Spanish; IHUM Epic Journeys, Modern Quests; Introductory Seminar: Antigone; and Sleep & Dreams. So far my IHUM seems pretty cool, which is more than most people are saying about theirs. My intro sem is great, there are only five of us in the class and it's basically just a discussion on literature for two hours at a time! The two hour chunk of time actually goes quickly for me in this class which is incredible! The professor for Sleep & Dreams is the same man who discovered/invented REM sleep, but I am convinced that he is certifiably insane. Class is a hoot, he tells all these totally irrelevant stories and squirts people sleeping in class with squirt guns before giving them bonus points!
With sleep & dreams we have to do what is called a "sleep project" which is basically keeping track of when and how much you sleep, as well as how well and alert you feel at certain intervals during the day. I was already making a conscious effort to sleep eight hours every night beforehand because of crew, but this project has helped me realize how happy I am again now that I'm sleeping enough! I actually learned something from the crazy Dement!
I pulled my first 8k and my first test at all for Yaz on Friday afternoon (right before snow trip). It was painful and incredibly difficult, but it wasn't as terrible as I had expected. After each test, the rankings are redone by your finish and by your side [of the boat]. I am "bysweptual" meaning that I row both sides, so Yaz has now turned me into a Starboard for ranking purposes and I'm ranked 11th!
Thursday, January 1, 2009
White Christmas, Brown New Year
After Thanksgiving recess came dead week and then finals week: the downpoints of any college student's existence. I made it through my first Stanford finals alright and it was time to go home for the first time in three months to see my family for Christmas.
To say I had an uneventful trip home, though, would be a stretch...My friend John/Gym took me to the San Jose airport, arriving there around 5:20 am for my 7:08 flight. I went through the "easy check-in" right away, noticing that my flight was already delayed by over two hours. i waited in the line with the other Denver passengers to check my bag and luckily was at the front of the line. When they announced that the flight was on a mechanical delay of at least 4-6 hours, the ticket agent booked me onto another flight...this one out of San Francisco. I hopped in the shuttle (a.k.a. really small mini-van with six very large people in it for 45 minutes) and made it to SFO, got checked in, and got on the plane on time. After we had been sitting at the end of the runway for a few minutes the captain came on the intercom saying that they couldn't get the left engine to turn over and that we would need to return to the gate to have mechanics look at it. All of us sat in the airplane waiting while the starter was changed and finally took off, only about 2 1/2 hours late...Once I made it to Denver I was supposed to have a three-hour layover, but because of my habit of breaking airplanes I only had about twenty minutes to get to my next gate. That flight went on time and I made it to Omaha a few minutes early!
When I got home that evening it was about 55 degrees, but when I woke up the next morning it was 0 and decreasing quickly and never made it back into positive temperatures for the first three days of my visit. In that time we had Grandpa Gene's funeral and I just spent time with friends and family. Our "heat wave" that week brought us up around 15 degrees one afternoon! My last/only weekend at home was spent snowed in after a blizzard bringing not only snow, but temperatures in the -20s with wind chills as low as -47.
Christmas Eve was spent with my dad's family, Christmas day with Mom and Jay and his family, and the next morning it was time to head back to the airport.
My flights went off without a hitch. I made it back to San Jose, met Mikayla at the airport and got to the hotel where we repacked and got ready for the early morning. We loaded the bus with about half the team and headed for the airport.
I have now been in Tempe, Arizona for five days and still don't quite know what to think of it...I was just getting used to things being green in December at school, and now everything is brown!
Our New Year's Eve was spent with a supper for the team at Kerry's family's gorgeous house in the area and then at the Tempe Town Block Party where we got to see Styx perform.
Training camp has been very intense, but I'm really glad I've had this experience. The workouts can get crazy, but the moments over supper or in hotel rooms are irreplaceable.
To say I had an uneventful trip home, though, would be a stretch...My friend John/Gym took me to the San Jose airport, arriving there around 5:20 am for my 7:08 flight. I went through the "easy check-in" right away, noticing that my flight was already delayed by over two hours. i waited in the line with the other Denver passengers to check my bag and luckily was at the front of the line. When they announced that the flight was on a mechanical delay of at least 4-6 hours, the ticket agent booked me onto another flight...this one out of San Francisco. I hopped in the shuttle (a.k.a. really small mini-van with six very large people in it for 45 minutes) and made it to SFO, got checked in, and got on the plane on time. After we had been sitting at the end of the runway for a few minutes the captain came on the intercom saying that they couldn't get the left engine to turn over and that we would need to return to the gate to have mechanics look at it. All of us sat in the airplane waiting while the starter was changed and finally took off, only about 2 1/2 hours late...Once I made it to Denver I was supposed to have a three-hour layover, but because of my habit of breaking airplanes I only had about twenty minutes to get to my next gate. That flight went on time and I made it to Omaha a few minutes early!
When I got home that evening it was about 55 degrees, but when I woke up the next morning it was 0 and decreasing quickly and never made it back into positive temperatures for the first three days of my visit. In that time we had Grandpa Gene's funeral and I just spent time with friends and family. Our "heat wave" that week brought us up around 15 degrees one afternoon! My last/only weekend at home was spent snowed in after a blizzard bringing not only snow, but temperatures in the -20s with wind chills as low as -47.
Christmas Eve was spent with my dad's family, Christmas day with Mom and Jay and his family, and the next morning it was time to head back to the airport.
My flights went off without a hitch. I made it back to San Jose, met Mikayla at the airport and got to the hotel where we repacked and got ready for the early morning. We loaded the bus with about half the team and headed for the airport.
I have now been in Tempe, Arizona for five days and still don't quite know what to think of it...I was just getting used to things being green in December at school, and now everything is brown!
Our New Year's Eve was spent with a supper for the team at Kerry's family's gorgeous house in the area and then at the Tempe Town Block Party where we got to see Styx perform.
Training camp has been very intense, but I'm really glad I've had this experience. The workouts can get crazy, but the moments over supper or in hotel rooms are irreplaceable.
Friday, December 5, 2008
Things I've realized...
A short list of things I've realized since I've been here:
-the words "hella" "tight" and "legit" can be used in any and every sentence, and can be used together in the same sentence (That's hella tight and legit.)
-it's apparently okay to say "like" twenty-seven times in one sentence...
-I have been californianized and am going to die in the South Dakota winter when I go home next week
-being from a farm is unique
-varsity athletes at Stanford sell their life for the school's Nike contract
-in my dorm room, I'm in the minority by being white
-our yellow boat (the Kwak) was flown here from Germany and the shell alone costs around $48K
-having callouses on my hands from working on the farm has kept my hands from totally falling apart rowing like everyone else's
-I don't like math
-it's not a week at Stanford if you don't see naked people running around
-primal scream is really irritating when you've already been asleep for two hours
-the words "hella" "tight" and "legit" can be used in any and every sentence, and can be used together in the same sentence (That's hella tight and legit.)
-it's apparently okay to say "like" twenty-seven times in one sentence...
-I have been californianized and am going to die in the South Dakota winter when I go home next week
-being from a farm is unique
-varsity athletes at Stanford sell their life for the school's Nike contract
-in my dorm room, I'm in the minority by being white
-our yellow boat (the Kwak) was flown here from Germany and the shell alone costs around $48K
-having callouses on my hands from working on the farm has kept my hands from totally falling apart rowing like everyone else's
-I don't like math
-it's not a week at Stanford if you don't see naked people running around
-primal scream is really irritating when you've already been asleep for two hours
Tuesday, December 2, 2008
Dead Week
Stanford University is now officially in "Dead Week" which, at most schools, means no classes and no new material, but here it means new classes, new material, papers, and sometimes tests.
At most schools, "dead" in dead week = nothing to do.
At Stanford, "dead" = literally dying from the insane amount of problem sets, papers, projects, and tests due this week on top of classes and "optional" practices.
Besides the fact that I'm dying this week, life is pretty wonderful. I will be home in something like 11 days and I can't wait!
Before that though, I have a project, a paper, and two exams to take...wish me luck!
Since it's been awhile since I last wrote, I will replay my Thanksgiving break in fast-forward for you! We had an entire week off, so it went something like this:
sleep, eat, watch movies with Mikayla, work out. repeat for 3 days. go to Fremont with family for three days, same pattern exempting the work outs. come back to campus, repeat previous pattern for two more days!
It was a very relaxing, unproductive break, yay!
The day before break I had what felt like the best row of my life thus far. Four of us (and Joanna) went out in a four that Friday morning for our last row with Katie as our coach. I had stroked a four the day before and done terribly, I don't deal well with a coxswain in a big pink puffy coat right in front of my face; but that day we went out in a bowloader (the coxswain is in the bow of the boat rather than the stern) and I stroked the boat and it felt amazing! I was pulling hard and I was consistent and I was relaxed and it was just an overall incredible morning!
At most schools, "dead" in dead week = nothing to do.
At Stanford, "dead" = literally dying from the insane amount of problem sets, papers, projects, and tests due this week on top of classes and "optional" practices.
Besides the fact that I'm dying this week, life is pretty wonderful. I will be home in something like 11 days and I can't wait!
Before that though, I have a project, a paper, and two exams to take...wish me luck!
Since it's been awhile since I last wrote, I will replay my Thanksgiving break in fast-forward for you! We had an entire week off, so it went something like this:
sleep, eat, watch movies with Mikayla, work out. repeat for 3 days. go to Fremont with family for three days, same pattern exempting the work outs. come back to campus, repeat previous pattern for two more days!
It was a very relaxing, unproductive break, yay!
The day before break I had what felt like the best row of my life thus far. Four of us (and Joanna) went out in a four that Friday morning for our last row with Katie as our coach. I had stroked a four the day before and done terribly, I don't deal well with a coxswain in a big pink puffy coat right in front of my face; but that day we went out in a bowloader (the coxswain is in the bow of the boat rather than the stern) and I stroked the boat and it felt amazing! I was pulling hard and I was consistent and I was relaxed and it was just an overall incredible morning!
Thursday, November 13, 2008
First 5K Test -- COMPLETE!
Let me preface this by saying that testing makes for one of the worst two practices possible as a Stanford Women's Crew member.
Of course the day started off at 5:30 with a morning row...only I didn't actually row, I was stuck in the boathouse erging and spinning. Then I got breakfast and a nap before my only class of the day, so I really couldn't complain too much.
Afternoon practice on Tuesdays and Thursdays is on land in the Ford Center, generally with some erging in the workout. Today was ALL erging. It was test day! We spent some time outside talking with Katie about what to expect and that we could all pull our goal splits, that we were strong enough, etc., etc. Then we warmed up for over 45 minutes, which just makes the nerves sooo much worse considering we didn't even warm up that long for our race last Sunday.
That 5K erg test was definitely 20 of the longest minutes of my rowing career this far. A "5K Test" is basically sitting down on the rowing ergometer (erg/rowing machine) and pulling 5000 meters as hard and as fast as you can, all while trying to keep your mind and body from totally shutting down on you, not to mention the fact that you're competing for a spot in a spring boat against everyone on the team, not just the other walk-ons. With about 250 meters (2 minutes) to go, I actually felt like I needed to throw up. That's how hard your abs have to contract through the whole piece.
I ended up pulling 3 seconds lower than my goal and having the fourth best time of the twelve of us, but that was still a killer workout...rewarding, but a killer.
Of course the day started off at 5:30 with a morning row...only I didn't actually row, I was stuck in the boathouse erging and spinning. Then I got breakfast and a nap before my only class of the day, so I really couldn't complain too much.
Afternoon practice on Tuesdays and Thursdays is on land in the Ford Center, generally with some erging in the workout. Today was ALL erging. It was test day! We spent some time outside talking with Katie about what to expect and that we could all pull our goal splits, that we were strong enough, etc., etc. Then we warmed up for over 45 minutes, which just makes the nerves sooo much worse considering we didn't even warm up that long for our race last Sunday.
That 5K erg test was definitely 20 of the longest minutes of my rowing career this far. A "5K Test" is basically sitting down on the rowing ergometer (erg/rowing machine) and pulling 5000 meters as hard and as fast as you can, all while trying to keep your mind and body from totally shutting down on you, not to mention the fact that you're competing for a spot in a spring boat against everyone on the team, not just the other walk-ons. With about 250 meters (2 minutes) to go, I actually felt like I needed to throw up. That's how hard your abs have to contract through the whole piece.
I ended up pulling 3 seconds lower than my goal and having the fourth best time of the twelve of us, but that was still a killer workout...rewarding, but a killer.
My girls after our first race
Newport Autumn Rowing Festival
November 2, 2008
7th place baby!
Friday, November 7, 2008
Catching Up
So, it's a little depressing that I'm so terribly behind already, but it happened, so here's my attempt to catch up during my 1 am study break.
I spent the weekend before last in Fremont with some family. My second cousin got married and when I got there I only knew him and his parents. By the time I got back to campus on Sunday evening, I not only had a bunch of new family, but I also had flown an airplane and had a great new friend in my "cousin" (second cousin, once removed) Michael. Michael even brought me back to campus and just hung out on the hall and in the dorm and watched Grey's with Brady and I before going back home that night.
Mom's birthday was the next week, I love you Mom!
I also had a midterm for my Comm 162 class which was surprisingly awesome (or at least I think so right now, haven't gotten my scores back yet). It was a "blue book" test, so it was mainly writing and it was all on political campaigns so it was actually a little fun.
Other than classes, pretty much the only thing I did was crew. Practices were crazy because we were preparing for our first race. We also got together a couple different nights as a team to tye-dye t-shirts for our unis! It was such a fun "team bonding" activity for us!
Halloween was Friday, but we were leaving for crew at 5 the next morning, so I dressed up (as a Little Black Book) and just came home REALLY early!
8 hour bus ride, starting at 5:30 am + some really weird rowing movie = 8 hours of sleep on the way to NARF (Newport Autumn Rowing Festival)
After we got there, we rigged the boats and practiced on the course, then went back to the hotel and got ready, then went out for supper with all the teams, then we had our team strategy meeting - complete with "ejector crab" stories from Katie, and then it was bed time!
We raced on Sunday and it was incredible! It started raining when we picked up the boat to walk it down to the beach and launch, and it didn't stop until we got out of the boat after the race and the sun peeked out of the clouds. Despite the weather, we ended up placing 7th out of 21 crews, 2nd out of the "B" boats, and beating 7 "A" boats!
This week has been filled with election mayhem and a devilish IHUM paper and that's about it! More later!
I spent the weekend before last in Fremont with some family. My second cousin got married and when I got there I only knew him and his parents. By the time I got back to campus on Sunday evening, I not only had a bunch of new family, but I also had flown an airplane and had a great new friend in my "cousin" (second cousin, once removed) Michael. Michael even brought me back to campus and just hung out on the hall and in the dorm and watched Grey's with Brady and I before going back home that night.
Mom's birthday was the next week, I love you Mom!
I also had a midterm for my Comm 162 class which was surprisingly awesome (or at least I think so right now, haven't gotten my scores back yet). It was a "blue book" test, so it was mainly writing and it was all on political campaigns so it was actually a little fun.
Other than classes, pretty much the only thing I did was crew. Practices were crazy because we were preparing for our first race. We also got together a couple different nights as a team to tye-dye t-shirts for our unis! It was such a fun "team bonding" activity for us!
Halloween was Friday, but we were leaving for crew at 5 the next morning, so I dressed up (as a Little Black Book) and just came home REALLY early!
8 hour bus ride, starting at 5:30 am + some really weird rowing movie = 8 hours of sleep on the way to NARF (Newport Autumn Rowing Festival)
After we got there, we rigged the boats and practiced on the course, then went back to the hotel and got ready, then went out for supper with all the teams, then we had our team strategy meeting - complete with "ejector crab" stories from Katie, and then it was bed time!
We raced on Sunday and it was incredible! It started raining when we picked up the boat to walk it down to the beach and launch, and it didn't stop until we got out of the boat after the race and the sun peeked out of the clouds. Despite the weather, we ended up placing 7th out of 21 crews, 2nd out of the "B" boats, and beating 7 "A" boats!
This week has been filled with election mayhem and a devilish IHUM paper and that's about it! More later!
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